


Blue denim jeans

by Cherlaine



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-12-29 20:46:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18301643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherlaine/pseuds/Cherlaine
Summary: What happens when Bass Monroe decides to follow Charlie Matheson into the shady bar and save her life? Is he doing it for his own selfish reasons to get back to Miles or is it something entirely different, when he comes to think of it? Will they get to explore their newfound relationship over the long trip to Miles? What happens on the way there?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the GSC 500 fan fic event. A bit longer story. :D Published originally on Ff 2018.  
> Rated M for later chapter(s), slight angst, some smut and for the strong language.  
> This story starts from episode s02e02 and is an altered version.

**North Texas, somewhere near Pottsboro**

 

_“You’re delusional.”, Charlie whispered._

_“When I’m gone, you won’t be able to track me.”_

Bass had waited until he couldn’t see her anymore. Charlie’s last words echoed in his mind, like a constant replay he couldn’t stop. He moved the horses and the carriage to the side of the road. Then made sure that the horses had grass they could eat. After that he checked his weaponry and only hoped that the horses and the carriage would still be here when he would return, hopefully with Charlie. Without her Miles and Rachel would never accept him.

 

He knew he wasn’t an avid tracker. But he could follow her if he could keep some distance between them but trying not to reveal himself to her. He had to be sneaky and walk in the side of the road, where the bushes made it hard to see him.

Then he went after her. He was scared she might have been got too far or taken a turn off the road, so he ran until he saw her behind again. Then he jumped into the bushes.

 

* * *

 

Monroe followed her until it was dark. He arrived at the yard of a shady bar in Pottsboro.

He realized soon that Charlie was in trouble by listening the sounds of fight. The door didn’t open so he had to bust it in. He felt the warm, smelly air of grown men locked in a small area. The scents of different liquors, food and cigarette smoke. Hint of blood on one of the guys who were staring at him like he was their new God, fallen from the skies. Except no one was a believer.

 

Apparently, Charlie had managed to punch some of them. His chest filled with pride.

He looked around and saw Charlie, half conscious, huddled down, her back against the wall. He knew what they were trying to do to her. It ignited his need to protect her. And his rage. He drew his blades and let himself feel every bit of that hatred. And the wrath of pissed Monroe fell upon them.

 

By the time he had finished his latest victim, Charlie was barely conscious. He gazed her, assessing her injuries. He couldn’t see any. She went completely out when he was watching her. A knot of fear tightened in his stomach. Would she die? He didn’t know what they had given her and how much. He crouched near her and pressed her wrist, trying to find a pulse. It was there, just a little too slow. Then he put his hand over her face. She was still breathing. He breathed in, calming himself down.

 

He put her on the floor, so she could breathe better when he was searching for anything they could use on their trip to Willoughby. He checked the cabinets and found a something shiny.  A set of various canned food. He found a bag and put them there. He stole a can opener too. He was afraid to touch anything which wasn’t packed. The men might have added the drugs into anything. And he wouldn’t know it before it would be too late. Then he saw some old booze bottles, with labels from the past, up in the top shelf. Grabbing them too, he went back to Charlie.

 

He was wondering how he could get to the carriage with unconscious young woman, when it was a few miles away. He stole a lantern from the bar and left her inside to check the back yard. He found a wheelbarrow. It seemed to be in a good condition. He took it and tried to find something to soften it. He found some old straws and a couple of blankets from a barn. He took the wheelbarrow close to the front door and went inside to get her.

 

He pulled Charlie against himself, holding her neck with his other hand, to stop her head from flopping down. And lifted. It felt weird. She was warm, her curves against his wiry muscled body. She smelled still pretty good, after all the sweat from the day she had walked and fought the men.

He placed her better in his arms and carried her out and put her into the wheelbarrow. One blanket under her and one over her. Then he set down the bag next to her. He had to put out the fire in the lantern.

 

He walked, pushing the wheelbarrow, with Charlie and his gear in them. Suddenly it started to rain. He went past different options in his mind of what to do and where to go. Trying to remember anywhere they could go. He needed to get the horses that no one would steal them and the carriage. He picked up the pace.

 

Finally, they were so close he could check the horses. They were okay. He needed to move them. The beasts needed to drink and eat. He packed Charlie into the carriage and the bag. Then he ditched the wheelbarrow. Then he prepared the horses. He had thought about it for a while. It was a long time since he had harnessed horses in front of a carriage.

 

He drove many miles in the rain. They had to get away from the bar and the dead men. As far as they could if someone would come after them. Sudden thunder made the horses restless. When the thunder became more frequent, he realized they needed cover.

 

He was driving the trotting horses on some road, now on the open countryside. When he saw a shed when the thunder lit the scenery. And behind it, and old train tristle. It was high from the ground, standing on poles. They would be dry and safe under it.

 

Bass put the horses into the old barn with the carriage. He cut fresh grass for them. And found a well with some buckets, from the front yard. It was still working. He filled the buckets and took them to the horses. Now they were safe and fed. He needed to set up a fire place. It wasn’t a safe thing to do in the barn. So, he needed to get everything under the old construction. First, he carried still unconscious Charlie there. Then his gear and the blankets.

 

Sometime later it was still raining and thundering. He had set up a fire and opened a can of unknown stew. He put it on the frying pan. While it was bubbling, he stirred it with his knife. He tasted the food. It was edible.

 

Charlie slept the whole day. Bass took care of the horses. He made a pasture for them from the things he found in the barn, ate and many times lied down, thinking. Occasionally checking if she was still alive. He bathed in the nearby river, quickly, eager to get back to check on Charlie. In the evening he warmed another batch of canned food.

* * *

 

The last thing Charlie remembered in her hazy waking brain, was Monroe’s hollow gaze, with a blank face. The darkness in his eyes. In the bar, after he had killed them all, except her.

She heard the rain hitting on something, but she registered that it didn’t hit her skin. She felt cold. She could smell the strong scent of rain and the moist ground and something burning.

Her eyelids were heavy, and she was having a hard time to get them open. The air was cool and damp. But she sensed heat emanating from somewhere close.

She was lying on a ground, tall grass around her. She managed to lift herself up a bit, on her elbows. Monroe was there. He was cooking something which looked like bear’s vomit with berries. It smelled funky too. She was still a bit queasy so that smell didn’t help.

Monroe threw the canteen at her. “Drink.”  
Charlie didn’t answer. Her throat was too dry. She tried to get up and away from him, but her feet didn’t carry her weight. She hated him so much she didn’t want to be near him.

“Take it easy.”, she heard Monroe say, several times.

 

Charlie slumped on the ground. She took the canteen and drank. Not obeying his commands, she mustered all the energy she had and tried to stand up. She managed that for a second. Then, one wobbling step away from him and another. She heard him like from a distance, the rustling of the grass in his feet as he gained her easily.

She started feeling dizzy, her vision blurry and the ground was coming closer too fast. Before she fell on to the ground, face forward, she felt strong hands grabbing her. He whirled her around and Charlie slammed against him. In her haze she still registered how warm he was, his hard muscles under his clothes, the way he breathed, his stubble so close to her head, it touched her forehead. How good he smelled when she closed her eyes. Bass half dragged, half walked her, back under the train trestle.

“Damn you Charlie!”

“Leave me alone. You bastard.”

“You don’t know me, Charlotte.”, he interrupted.

“I fucking hate you!” she exclaimed and kicked him into his shin. He didn’t let go of her, but she heard him curse under his breath.

 

Then it struck her, the thought settling in her mind, from what he had probably saved her from. Her fatigue was to blame, when she felt she couldn’t control her emotions anymore. The trauma, being scared and shame of going there alone burned her inside. She felt her eyes watering up.

_No, not in front of Monroe._

Her mind and body didn’t listen. She sobbed, first a bit. When Monroe pulled her into an embrace, she cried, not caring about what Monroe might thought about it anymore.

* * *

 

Monroe had mixed feelings. This was one of the many times he had held Charlie in his arms over the last couple of days. He kept noticing how clearly, she was a female, every time, but he did his all to push that information into the back of his mind. He hadn’t been used to closeness. It had been such a long time than anyone had hugged him. Last time he had had slept with someone… It was in New Vegas. It felt like ages ago. When Charlie had fallen against him, he had felt worry, yet his mind busy registering how her body felt pressed hard over his chest.

 

When Charlie started to cry, he regretted how angry he had been at her just a moment ago. He had  been afraid if she would have hurt herself with that stunt she tried. Yet, he felt great being able to just hold someone after a long time. Being able to bring comfort to Charlie. Still, a whirlwind of thoughts running through his mind, wanting to keep her safe, protecting her. And the most primitive of them all, wanting her like crazy. He tried to ignore it. But it kept coming back like a hungry stray dog, biting him whenever he let his guard low.

 

Charlie stopped crying. “Did they have time to… you know what I mean.”

“No, they didn’t.”, Monroe said.

“Did you have your way with me? I guess with your reputation you were tempted.”

“I don’t sleep with drugged women.”, he said harshly and let her go.

Instantly regretting that, when she started to sway again. Worried she might fall, this time he grabbed her from her shoulders.

“Or with Miles’s niece.”

“Oh Monroe, what an angel.”, she smiled coldly, her voice laced with sarcasm.

“They were more than willing in New Vegas.”, he smirked.

“I bet they were. It’s rare to find someone so completely cold, power grazed and psychotic son of a bitch. It must be fascinating to some weirdos.”

Monroe felt now irritated. “You don’t know what it was like there. And for what I know, you don’t keep your pants on tight either.”

He watched the surprise on Charlie’s face. Then she was looking pale. “I think I’m gonna black out again.”  
He helped her to the bedroll and put a blanket over her. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”.

Then she was out.

Bass put his bedroll close to hers, when he was sure she was sleeping. Then he tried to get some sleep too.  
  
He woke up to a weird noise. Charlie was apparently going to puke. He made sure she was okay. He held her hair back when she was retching. She threw up and almost fell. He kept her up.

 

* * *

 

 

Charlie was wondering why Monroe bothered to help her. She felt him, holding her in his strong arms. Then it started again. This time it hurt, because her stomach was empty. She threw up some bile and left a snuffle while trying to cry so that Monroe wouldn’t notice.

“It will pass.”, he said gently.

She was still trying to wrap her head around this new side of Monroe. But couldn’t help herself feeling sick again.

 

* * *

 

Monroe felt relieved. The worst was over apparently. And she was alive. After hours of throwing up she had finally stopped puking her guts out and managed to keep some water inside. She had been exhausted and sore. He watched her sleep peacefully.

It wouldn’t have been good if she would have died in his arms. Then there was no way back to Miles. Or was it completely about that? He knew the girl. Or this young woman. Who was Miles’ niece. It was only natural to care about her because she was part of Miles’ family. So, that made her a part of his family, in a way.

* * *

 

_A few days later…_

 

Monroe needed to think. Many times, they fell into easy silence. Luckily, she let him be. But not this time.

 

“What is wrong with you Monroe? You haven’t said a word in couple of hours and you haven’t talked much on the whole leg either.”

“I didn’t know I could piss you off by staying silent.”, he said, watching the road instead of glancing at her.

“It’s annoying. Not pissing me off.”

“Whatever.”

“Fine. Be silent then.”

Charlie crossed her arms and pursed her lips.

“I don’t know what to talk about.”

“You could start by telling me what happened.”

“When?”

Charlie snorted. “What do you think.”

“I saved you.”

“There was more than that. What happened when I went out?”

“I carried you. And then I found a wheelbarrow.”

“Thanks.”, she said.

Monroe gazed her. “It was nothing.”

 

* * *

 

The horses suddenly got scared of something Bass couldn’t see and they ran as fast as they could , the heavy carriage clattering as it was about to brake and its suspense creaking. He was doing his best to keep them in the right direction.

Charlie woke up from her slumber and almost fell off from the ride. Before falling down, she felt a strong grip on her arm. Bass. He only let go when he knew she had regained her balance. She wasn’t afraid although the horses still ran fast. Bass guided them to keep the carriage on the road. He looked fierce, his hair flowing in the wind. He had braced himself between the bench and the foot rest. The look on his face serious, grim.

Finally, the horses started to calm down, after running like hell for the last mile.

She heard Bass’ low voice, as he was calming the horses down. It was the same tone he had used to calm her down, when she was sick from the drugs in her system. Bass got them to walk.

“We should let them rest somewhere.”, he said, when he was in control of them again.

 

* * *

 

In the morning Charlie checked that Monroe was still asleep. He seemed to be. She stripped from her clothes and took a ragged towel with her. She had found an old tube top with undies from an abandoned house they had raided earlier. She changed to them on the beach of the river. She walked into the cool water, shivering a bit. The sun was already shining, warming the cool night air. She saw how the sun rays went through the misty air far away, near the forest line.

 

She walked slowly deeper into the water, until only her head was above it. Then she saw something moving in her peripheral vision. She felt metallic, cold fear grip her insides until she realized it was Monroe. She breathed deep.

“God damn you Monroe!”, she exclaimed.

“Saw you leaving.”

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“Hearing you rustling through your stuff woke me up.”

 

He removed his shirt and threw it on the ground. Then he kicked off his boots and peeled off his socks. Walking closer, slowly.

Charlie backed to the water.

She couldn’t get her eyes off on his body, his hair and when he turned to her direction, his eyes. His gaze compelling, like a predator to a pray. She had to force herself to turn that she wouldn’t stumble upon something. Then she turned back, to see what he was up to.

 

She didn’t know what she would do if he would completely get rid of his clothes. He was coming at her, then he passed her, way too close. She got his scent and felt the heat trail he left. He went deeper in the water and stopped. He was apparently working on his pants. It seemed hard but finally she saw him throwing wet jeans towards the shore.

“Oh, fuck’s sake.”, she muttered, when she realized he would come out from the body of water, fully naked.

Apparently, he heard her, she was awarded with a smirk. Then he dove into the stream.

 

Charlie minded  her own business. Then she started to wonder what the fuck took him so long. He was still under.

Suddenly he emerged right in front her, breathing in deep and shaking his head. She startled and jumped. “For fuck’s sake, Monroe!”

He smiled, baring the white of his teeth.  
 She found herself deeper in the water. He still smiled until she got up. His smile disappeared. So did her tube top. She froze. Her breasts were free, in all of their glory.

She watched him rise from the water like a bronze god, with dark curly hair. He slowly approached her until he stood right in front of her. He grabbed the tube top which was now useless and covering her waist. Charlie couldn’t look away. She watched his face, so close, his hands, fingers, coil in the fabric.

 

He was fully concentrating on the task at hand. Pulling the damn thing up and one by one, cover her breasts with the wet cloth. She felt the coldness make her nipples hard. She half wished he would accidentally touch her. But on the other side, it would make things too complicated.

When he was done, he gazed her. She didn’t know what he was thinking. But he seemed curious of her. The look in his eyes observant. Without the usual Monroe grumpiness, he looked beautiful. His sky-blue eyes against his suntanned skin and dark hair framing his face. And the stubble on his jaw.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t seen this kind of stuff before.” she quipped.

“Well, I have, but not yours.”

Monroe walked to the beach and Charlie no matter how hard she tried not to peek, she had to look at him. She saw his ass. Full, round, muscled wiry like the rest of him.

“Oh fuck.”, she said.

 

Charlie heard Monroe laughing. But he left her alone to wash herself, walking away with his clothes, until she couldn’t see him anymore.   
She realized that the damn bastard probably knew what he was doing to her. She was annoyed, yet same time she felt exhilarated for him. She didn’t want to feel that way. Not for _him_.

 

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

They were driving on the road, the horses barely trotting, when Charlie saw something. It was a sign with text on it.

“They are having a fair. Can we go?”

“No.”

“Come on, Monroe. We need to buy stuff, like soap. Maybe get a job for a while, to get decent food and a place to stay?”

Monroe seemed to be thinking about it. He turned the horses on the intersection, to the road where the sign pointed. “Only for a short visit.”

 

Near the fair, Bass got some boy to guard their horses and carriage for a small payment.  
Charlie was excited. She hadn’t been at the fair for ages. It didn’t matter that this was a small village. She examined the products and tried some of them in her hands.  
Monroe went into another direction, but never too far to lose sight over her.

Charlie approached a booth with nice looking middle-aged woman, who was selling some soaps, vegetables and herbs.

“Hello. I’d like to buy some soap.”

“Here are all the different varieties.”

The soap was in the boxes, which were labeled. Charlie chose a lavender soap.

“Thank you.”

“Do you know where one could get a job for food and a place to stay, just for a while?”

“What are your skills?”

“I can hunt, and my friend is good with horses.”, she said, when she saw Monroe walking near.

“You could stay at our farm?”

“That would be nice.”

“I will talk about this with my husband, but I think he’ll say yes.”

Monroe got to speak first. “I’m Jimmy King and this is my friend… Carla.

Charlie almost kicked Monroe for using a name so close to her real one. But she just smiled nicely.

“Evening Ma’am.”

The woman smiled. “I’m not Ma’am, I’m Lizzie.”

To Charlie’s surprise, even Monroe smiled slightly.

“Come to me in an hour.”, Lizzie said.

“We have to get our carriage.”, Monroe said.

 

He guided Charlie away from the booth, placing his hand on the small of her back. Charlie tried not to react, but she felt like a jolt in her system. Registering everything. How warm his hand was. His scent. How close to her he walked. Her mind started to wander.

 

“You should have asked me first. We are not gonna stay there for long .”, Monroe moaned. He was scanning the crowd, when they were alone again.

“Don’t be so grumpy. Think about the warm meals and soft beds.”

“Well, there’s a certain appeal there.”, he admitted reluctantly.

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the farm. Monroe stopped the carriage after Lizzie and her husband, Sam.

“Meet my family.”, Sam said.

Monroe and Charlie came down, there was a young man holding their horses.

“This is Jamie”, Sam told them. The young man smiled.

Everyone greeted. Sam hugged Lizzie who seemed pleased about it. “You have already met my wife.”

When Jamie took the reins, Monroe had been ready to take them.

“We can take care of the horses. You should go inside and rest.”, Sam said, with a friendly smile.

Charlie smiled back. “Thanks.”

 

Monroe and Charlie walked behind the carriage and opened the doors. Monroe jumped in and grabbed some of their stuff, giving it to Charlie. She put them out from the carriage. She was about to leave for the house when Monroe jumped down to the ground and grabbed her arm. “Wait. I want to see where they take the horses and carriage.”

“You don’t trust them?”

“I don’t trust anyone I don’t know.”, he said.

Charlie sighed but waited for him. “So, we stand here like two idiots?”

  
Sam and Jamie took the carriage to the back of the yard, near stables, leaving Bass and Charlie standing in the yard. Then Sam and Jamie proceeded to take the harness off on the horses.

“Let’s get inside.”, Monroe decided.

Charlie snorted. That’s what she had said just a moment ago, but he refused.

 

They opened the door, got into the kitchen and Lizzie was already preparing food in there.

“Come inside. I’ll get you something to eat soon.”

“Thank you.”, Charlie said.

When Monroe just gazed the kitchen, apparently on some memory lane, she kicked Monroe under the table.

“Thanks.”, he said.

In no time, Lizzie planted dishes of hot homemade food in front of them. There was some kind of meat sauce and potatoes seasoned with herbs and salt, with vegetables.

They ate like they hadn’t seen food for weeks.

 

“You could use a bath. I’ll tell Sam to boil the water for you. In the meantime, Jamie can show you your rooms.”

Charlie looked at the door way with Monroe. Young Jamie stood in the doorway, smiling.

They climbed the stairs and ended up in a corridor. There were doors on the both sides of the way. At the end of the corridor was a big window.

Jamie guided Charlie to her room. Then he left with Monroe, while Charlie took her bags in. She didn’t want to miss seeing where Bass ended up, so she decided not to unpack right now.

She saw that one door was open, not far from her room. Jamie got just out.

“You will be called when the bath is ready.”, he said.

“Thanks.”

“Do you have any spare clothes for us? We could lend also some towels.”, Charlie asked.

“I can ask from my Mother.”

“I’m grateful.”

 

She didn’t want to disturb Monroe, so she got back to her room and went through her things. She found the most important thing. The soap.

Lizzie gave her a towel when she came to get her. “You can leave the dirty clothes there”

Once Charlie had bathed alone, she returned to her room.  There were women’s clothes on the bed. Some jeans, shirts and a long nightgown. Some panties and a top.

 

Charlie hadn’t seen Monroe after the evening. She had a night snack and she was told that Monroe was in the bath then. She lied on her bed, trying to sleep.

She woke up into a nightmare. Where she was surrounded by the men from the bar. Again.

 

* * *

 

Bass was in the bath, enjoying the hot water and the cleanliness. He thought he could get used to this. Getting food, baths, all just for working at the stables, which would start tomorrow. He closed his eyes. He was informed before that Charlie was already eating. He thought that she had been in this very room, naked and taking the bath just before him. Then the unwanted images of her started. Of Charlie, without any clothes. He didn’t have to imagine what she looked like, after the incident in the river. He swallowed and tried to think about something else.

 

For the first time on the trip, they had a roof over their head. And a place to stay. Their own rooms. Real beds. Real home cooked meals. Bass almost purred. The warm water surrounding him.

Charlie sleeping next to him in the cold, dark camp, by the fire. Charlie sitting with him for the long hours when they were trying to get to Willoughby. Charlie with him in the river.

 

He sighed and started to wash himself. The water was already cooling down. When he was ready, he went to his room and found a pair of worn blue jeans and a white t-shirt. And some old briefs. A pair of socks. A dark jacket. His boots were still close to the bed. Another set of clothes for work.

 

He was trying to sleep but his mind was on overdrive. He felt also a bit lonely without Charlie’s company. He had grown to like it. He realized he couldn’t sleep without her. He lighted up some candles and tried to look for something to do. There wasn’t anything in the room. Back to the bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling.

 

Monroe knew that he couldn’t go to Charlie’s room. It would be awkward. And what if she didn’t want him there?

 

_It’s gonna be a long night. Fuck._

* * *

 

Charlie couldn’t sleep after seeing the nightmare. Where the men were closing in on her in the shady bar and there was nothing she could do. She saw where the clothes were, in the pale moon light, and changed her nightgown into jeans and a shirt.

She opened the door and slipped to the dark corridor. There was pale light from the moon at the end of it, shining from the window. She was thinking about turning over to her room but then she saw a line of soft yellow light under Monroe’s door. She felt her heart start to race. 

 

She knocked on his door. “ Come in.”, said the muffled voice.

She opened the door.

“Hey.”, Charlie said and closed the door, sitting on a chair.

The room was lit softly. The air smelled of him, fresh sheets and the burning candles.

Monroe was lying in his bed, under covers. Leaning over to his pillows and his hands behind his head he was able to gaze her. She saw his bare chest and arms. And wondered did he even have any pants on. “What brings you here?”

She wasn’t going to say it. She didn’t want to. Monroe threw the blanket off and got up. Charlie didn’t know where to look but she got a glimpse of Bass’ naked body. She turned her gaze away with her cheeks burning when he turned and started to dress up.

 

Charlie only laid her eyes on Monroe again when she was sure he was decent. He had blue jeans on and pulled a white t-shirt over his upper body. His curly haired head emerging from the collar and then hands from the sleeves. He sat on the end of the bed, setting his curious gaze on her.

 

“I woke up and I couldn’t sleep. I thought that maybe you’d be up too.”

He watched her. “Are you okay?”

Charlie wasn’t expecting that. “How...”

“You are not yourself.”

“I saw this nightmare. You know about what.”, she said and walked over to the bed and slumped on the end of it, right next to him.

“It’s normal.”, he said.

She refused to look at him although she could feel his gaze on herself. She swallowed. “You’re the only one who I feel safe with.”, she admitted.

“If you’re going to make fun of me now, I will hit you.”, she said and stared at him, tears in her eyes, but ready for anything if he decided to be a dick about the matter.

 

Monroe’s eyes searched for hers and he looked a bit worried. He touched her shoulder and left his hand there. She could feel their connection although he didn’t say a word. She felt how she was falling apart inside. She also knew she didn’t have to be strong around him. He could take her problems and help to carry them when she couldn’t.

 

When he slowly pulled her into his arms, she didn’t resist. Just like a dam had broken down, she cried. It seemed like a long time but finally she could calm herself down. She was content close to him. Monroe let go and he crawled to the bed, lying down. She followed him suit and curled to his side. He turned to his side and put his arm over her.

 

At some point Charlie had fallen asleep. Monroe let her be. He extinguished the flames in the candles and took some duvets for them. Then he went back, next to her.

He felt better with her. His own demons staying at bay when she was around. He sighed deep, feeling the new scent on her, the lavender and her warm side under his arm, which was again laying protective over her and closed his eyes.

 

* * *

 

In the morning Bass woke up and noticed she was watching him.

“I have nightmares about snakes.”, he told her.

Charlie left a chuckle and looked like she didn’t believe him.

“It’s true. Don’t laugh at me.”, he said, his mouth curving into a smile.

“Big bad Monroe, scared of snakes.”

“Well, there’s just one big. It’s always the snake.”

 

Charlie laughed. Monroe felt insanely happy about that. He smiled back at her. “I’m glad you’re having fun.” He pretended to be upset and lied on his back, covering his face with his arm.

Charlie was checking on him. He lifted his arm to see her. “You’re such a cheat.”

She tickled him from his side, and he recoiled. “God damn!”

Monroe retaliated and suddenly, he was partially on her, holding her from the wrists. He saw her smile shut down. He wasn’t sure what it was. Either she was scared of him or...

“I’m sorry.”, he said and let her hands go.

“It’s okay.”, she said. Before he knew, she was tickling him hard, with her both hands.

Now he really had to do something about it. He captured her with his own body weight and held her arms against himself. He smiled slightly, because he didn’t want to worry her.

“We have to eat.”, Charlie said.

He let her go.

 

* * *

 

The breakfast was over soon. Monroe headed for the stables with Sam and Charlie went to hunt with Jamie. She felt happier after being with Monroe. Jamie seemed to be happy too.

“It’s a beautiful weather.”, Jamie commented on his steed.

“Just perfect for the hunt.”, she said as they were riding towards the woods.

They found just the perfect spot for waiting for the deer.

 

Monroe was a bit disappointed for not seeing Charlie for many hours. He knew what she would come eventually. Maybe bring back the horses or something.

He saw her only some time later. He was cleaning the stalls when she suddenly came there.

“I’ve been cleaning the harness and the stables all day. What have you done?”

“We shot a few deer.”, Charlie said.

“We?”

“Jamie was with me.”

“Oh.”

 

Monroe took a break. He was sweating so he took his shirt off. He found his water bottle and drank. He noticed Charlie was watching him. He took a secret satisfaction from that. He couldn’t stop a smirk rising to his lips. Charlie gazed him again, then she left.

 

He watched her leaving. The way her were hips swaying as she made more distance between them. Her round behind, long legs. He remembered what she looked like at the river, half dressed. That image had burned permanently in his memory. He knew it was wrong. But the more he tried to resist the images of her whirling in his mind, the more persistent they became.

 

What he didn’t want to admit, not even to himself, was that he felt something for her. It wasn’t only physical attraction. He wanted to get to know her, wanted to make her happy. Most of all, he wanted to be with her, so much that it hurt. He remembered when they had met the first time and wondered if she would still see him as that person, as he had been back then. Or as someone else?  
  
He knew also that most likely nothing would happen. He had done so much bad and killed or caused a lot of deaths. Also, in Charlie’s family. It would be a miracle if she would ever accept him. Even this was wonder, that she let him be so close to herself.

 

Not even starting on Rachel. He wondered why she could forgive Miles for doing all that same shit as he had. But Rachel forgave Miles and not him. It was true that his acts had caused Ben’s, Danny’s death and so many others. But he hadn’t been there in person, pulling the trigger. She would never let him forget that. And that way, Charlie was off limits for good.

 

If he would touch her, he would be on Rachel’s and Miles’s hit list as number one. No matter how much he would care about Charlie. They wouldn’t believe that his intentions were pure.

Well, he had a death wish anyway. They would just be added to his list, of who wanted him dead. And there were many. Didn’t he deserve some happiness too, where ever he could find it?

 

Rachel and Miles were probably playing home and Miles would be properly under her thumb. However, Bass knew that he would never submit to that. Not for anyone. What had made Miles like that? He didn’t know. No matter if he felt something for Charlie, he would never let her control him. As he couldn’t control her. And he didn’t even want to, Part of her charm was the fact that she was stubborn and had a mind of her own. In her eyes there was fire and persistence which he admired.

 

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

Another day in the farm. Charlie was still in the same room at nights with Monroe. At day time Monroe was working so she spent most of her time with Jamie. He seemed to be fun to be around with. She didn’t know why but the easy-going relationship she had had with Monroe, did somehow turn into strained one. He gave weird, serious looks to them if she was at the stables with Jamie.

She thought that maybe Monroe had just reverted into his old habits. And didn’t care to think about it more.

 

Charlie was given the task to spread hay to the horses with Jamie.

Monroe was cleaning the stalls far back.

 

She remembered what he looked like the last time. Taking his shirt off. Sweat gleaming on his bare skin, his muscles rippling under his skin as he worked. His hair a lovely mess of curls, his piercing blue eyes and his scruff surrounding his smirk when he realized she was watching him. She sighed.

 

_Why did he have to look so good?_

 

Charlie was brought back to Earth when Jamie said something. “What?”

“Are you daydreaming?”

“Me? No.”, she said, and felt her cheeks blush.

Jamie just smiled, letting it be.

 

They laughed and tried to work the same time.

Jamie threw some hay on her and she did him the same to him.

“You know, your friend Jim gives me some murdering looks.”

“Why?”

“I think he has a crush on you.”

“What…M... Um, Jimmy? Nah.”

“Look when I tell you to. Laugh now.”, Jamie said and continued to tease her.

 

Charlie did so and when she turned her head... Jamie was right. The look on Monroe’s face was dark like the clouds before the storm when he glared at Jamie. Then he noticed Charlie was watching him. His eyes softened, and he turned his gaze back to his work.

  
“If looks could kill, I’d be dead.”, Jamie said.

 

Charlie was wondering what the hell was going on. Monroe wasn’t interested in her. Or was he? Why was he acting this way? She had to find out.

 

Monroe was almost done with raking horse manure when Charlie stormed in.

“Are you jealous?”

“What? Me? You are Miles’s niece. I’m just looking after your virtue.”

“You don’t do that. You are not my Dad, not my uncle. You don’t even care about anyone but yourself.”

Monroe looked pissed. “You don’t know me.”

“Well, I guess I don’t. But it doesn’t give you the right to give evil eye to Jamie.”

She saw his jaw twitching when she said his name. Charlie looked around and made sure no one would hear. “I’m right, am I?”

“Don’t you remember when you said you don’t sleep with girls like me. Was that a fucking lie?”

Monroe just looked at her and leaned to the rake.

“Don’t you dare to ignore me.”, Charlie warned.

“What I recall, I said that I don’t sleep with _drugged_ women.”

“What’s wrong with enjoying someone’s company? You know that’s something I rarely get.”, she continued.

“Nothing. He is just trying to get into your pants.”

“And it bothers you because you are my _what_? A holy guardian and you are trying to keep my virtue safe? Are you sure it’s not you who wants to get into my pants?”

“If I wanted to, I would have done that already.”

“Oh God. You really are full of yourself, you know? This is going nowhere. But this I will say. If I have fun, don’t take it away from me.”, Charlie said and left.

 

* * *

 

 

Later in the evening. Monroe knew he was lying to himself as well. He had wanted Charlie, but he also knew that he wasn’t good enough for her. She was the most impressive young woman he knew. Furious, standing her ground. A fighter. Strong, resilient. She was trustworthy. And a great opponent. Beautiful, intelligent, a survivor.

 

He knew he couldn’t stand the idea of her being with anyone else. He couldn’t say it to her aloud. It would have sounded wrong and would reveal something she would not want to hear.  Hell, maybe even _he_ didn’t want to hear it. Also, he didn’t want to get hurt if she would turn him down. It would be an obstacle between them forever and messing up their friendship for good.

 

* * *

 

The family asked them for a dinner. Lizzie had prepared the food.  There was some roasted venison, onions, potatoes, vegetables. Gravy in a pan. Water, beer.

 

Monroe felt the sting of disappointment when Charlie sat next to Jamie. Hearing them talking, then laughing, made him feel even more lonely.

 

“Fuck.”, Bass muttered under his breath.

 

He knew he should let them be. They were just two young adults, wanting to have fun. But he knew also that he was jealous. And hell yeah, he wanted to be next to her, the one who would make her laugh and smile. How much he did want that, left even him surprised.

He needed a beer and fast.

   
Charlie noticed Monroe staring at her and sometimes giving disapproving glances at Jamie’s way.

 

“He is doing that again.”, Jamie said when he knew that the others wouldn’t hear.

“Have you talked to him?”

“ I tried. He refused.”

“Maybe he is afraid of rejection.”

Charlie almost choked to her drink and spat some of it out, on her hand, laughing surprised. “Jimmy afraid? He is not afraid of _anything_.”

“Maybe he is.”, Jamie said.

 

Charlie was thinking about that alone in her room, late at night. She was wearing a nightgown Jamie’s mother had given her. It was old fashioned. A shirt with a long hem, covering her shoulders and her thighs. She got up from the warm bed and shivered for the cool air in the room. She grabbed her candle and walked out of her room, determined to find out the truth. Once and for all.

 

She didn’t knock, just opened the door which was Monroe’s. He leaped up from the bed, wearing only his jeans, bare feet, ready with a knife in his hand.

“Oh, it’s you.”, he lowered his blade and hid it back under the mattress. Sinking into the bed again.

“What do you want?”, he asked, watching her.

Charlie couldn’t rip her eyes straight away from his body. He was in a good shape. A little thin and wiry. But muscled. Clearly male. The work at the stables had made him even leaner. His curly hair seemed to be black in the candle light. His blue eyes looking dark in the low light. And that damn scruff she couldn’t resist, framing his face.

 

“Now you’re going to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you or else.”

“And what is that?”

She saw a playful twinkle in his eyes and warned him. “Now it’s not the time to play games.”

 

Monroe stretched himself, then relaxed and smiled at her.  It made Charlie even more pissed. She knew he was doing it on purpose. He apparently knew that he was a good-looking man. He must have known also what kind of impact it had on most women. He used that to make her angry.

 

“You’re one fucking arrogant bastard.”, she said and slumped on the bed, refusing to look at him.

She heard Monroe chuckling. She closed her eyes. He was really getting on to her nerves.

“Tell me why.”, she said, keeping her eyes closed.

 

She heard the rustling of the old springs of the bed, when he moved behind her. Then silence. But she felt his presence and some radiation from his warm body. His pleasant scent in her nose. So, she waited.

“I don’t want you to be with him.”

Charlie was still, trying to understand what she had just heard.

“What? You don’t get to say that. You don’t own me.”

“It’s not about owning.”

“Then what?”, she asked, suddenly so tired that he was still trying to keep things to himself.

 

She felt his fingertip sliding on her arm. It messed up her system, making her breathing harder, her pulse rise. She had slept next to him, when it was cold outside. But this was something different,  deliberate from him. She couldn’t ignore how he made her feel. Closing her eyes, a little tighter, hoping it would never end. Then hearing his low voice, almost a whisper. “Stay with me.”

 

She was tired of fighting, tired of endless bickering and the fucking games they played when they didn’t want to talk what was really going on and didn’t say anything. One thing was for sure. He’d never leave her alone in the cold.

She leaned onto him and felt him wrap his arms around her. She let herself relax, her eyes closed. She snug into his lap, fitting there perfectly. Just like they had been on the trip, outside, on different camps, when it was cold. When she tried to get warm and the only one who was able to give that to her was Monroe.

 

* * *

 

Charlie went to the stables and saw Monroe  ready to take off, already mounted on a bay horse.

“Where are you going?”

“Harmony has escaped.”

“Damn, she is my favorite. Let me come with you?”

 

He reached for her, leaning over the horse’s neck.  She grabbed it. He pulled her up, onto his horse, while she did everything she could to get on. She snaked her arms around him to steady herself. The same time feeling his back against her front. His strong thighs in the front of hers.

 

Bass rode out and to the road. Sometimes Charlie checked the surroundings if there were any horse tracks around. Then she was up again, so close to him he could feel and smell her.

Her hands around his waist, her legs against his. Her warmth and scent, flooding his senses. It was increasingly hard to concentrate to anything else. They needed to find the other horse. Now.

“Harmony!”, Charlie shouted and jumped to the ground.

 

Monroe breathed deep, sorry for losing the contact with her and yet the same time, eased that she wasn’t there anymore, her front rubbing against his back with every step the horse took. He could think straight again.

 

They found Harmony, not far from the place Charlie was sure she had just been. He felt joy when Charlie greeted the mare, so happy to find her. Seeing her so full of life made his heart swell.

Monroe took Harmony, easily getting on her, even when she didn’t have a saddle on. Charlie took his horse. They rode back to the stables.

 

* * *

 

 

After working on the stables, helping Sam and Jamie with horse training and take care of the horses after, Bass needed a bath.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that evening the family threw a little party, grilling and such. Charlie was in Jamie’s company again. Bass exchanged a few words with Lizzie’s husband, and he stood with him, watching the venison fillets, sweet potatoes and corn cobs roast in the grill.

 

“She’s a fine-looking woman.”, Sam said.

“Who?”

“Don’t take me for a fool. I have seen how you look at her, Jim.”

“Damn.”

Suddenly Charlie walked past him, slowly and close. “Boys.”, she nodded and smiled a bit.

“Evening Ma'am.”, Sam told her mischievously and Charlie smiled.

“Evening.”, Monroe said.

 

Charlie’s eyes went back to Monroe. He mimicked Sam a bit and leaned forward, tilting his head and flashing a slight smile. It was weird to see him like that, so human. She still smiled back at him and he felt the warmth of it inside her.

 

Monroe watched Sam turning the venison fillets and the sweet potatoes, corn cobs over in the grill.

“We bought some beer from the brewery. It’s in the shed. Help yourself.”, Sam said.

“Thank you.”

 

In the shed, shielded from the sun, Bass saw a tub filled with brown bottles and ice. He took two bottles and went back outside.

 

Charlie was chatting with Jamie. They were waiting for their food, sitting on their benches. Charlie saw Bass emerge from the shed with two bottles. He walked straight to her and their gazes locked.

 

“Thought you might want one.”, he said and handed her a bottle. He had even opened it for her.

Charlie felt like a spark when their fingers connected. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.”, he said, smiling a bit.

“Can I...”, Jamie asked.

“Ask your old man.”, Bass said and left with the other bottle.

 

He went to sit, close to the grill, on his chair, so he could continue the conversation with Sam. Gazing Charlie every now and then. The bottle was cool, so the surface of the glass started to gather moist from the air, forming water drops. He tasted the drink. The beer was cold and tasty.

 

Even when he was taking a swig from his bottle, their gazes locked. She saw him sit, his legs wide. She knew he was showing off for her. Charlie felt nervous, yet excited. Butterflies flapping in her stomach.

 

She knew Bass would give the night hay to the horses, so she waited in one loose box, with a horse. She gave it an apple she had taken from a tree outside. The mare was Harmony. Jamie had told her the names of the horses. The mare was happily eating her apple, she was drooling, and bits and pieces of the apple were falling on the floor, on the straw bedding. “You’re a little pig, aren’t you?”, she said, smiling.

Charlie heard someone come and she waited.

 

Bass gave the hay to horses in the row.  Finally, he was at the end of it. Charlie saw how he stopped abruptly, when he saw her in the last box.

Charlie was on Harmony’s side, her hand over her warm back.

He still had the hay on his hand, while he slowly walked closer to her. “You are here.”

“I wanted to see you. Alone.”, Charlie said and let her hand slide over horse’s coat.

 

She lifted her gaze to him. He looked very handsome. He had got food and work, sun. His skin was suntanned where the fabric didn’t cover it. He had a dark jacket for the cool night air. She wondered if it was Sam’s. Blue denim jeans on, the color matching with his eyes. Black boots.

His curly hair looked oil black in the lantern’s light. His stubble almost a beard now.

His eyes piercing as always, looking dark. She heard him draw a deep breath.

 

“What is it?”, he asked.

“Nothing.”, she told him and turned away.

Silence.

 

_God this is hard. I don’t know if I can do this._

 

“You shouldn’t be jealous of Jamie. He is just a friend to me.”, she said.

She turned to see him. “On the other hand, this thing...”

“What this thing?”

“You, staring at me and… Well, I don’t mind.”

He seemed to contemplate her words for a while. She couldn’t read what he was thinking. Something sent him into defense mode.

“I know I can’t take back what I have done. However, I am trying to be a better man.”

Charlie sighed. “It’s in the past. I forgive you. Actually, I forgave you some time ago.”

“So, what is the problem?”

Charlie turned away and felt her eyes water, when she couldn’t tell him.

“You don’t trust me? You’re afraid I will revert back to my old self?”, he asked.

“Miles and Mom… They would never accept. Anyway, the biggest reason is me.”, Charlie said and turned towards him again.

Bass stared at her, serious look on his face. He walked towards her, cautiously. Too close, into his personal space. Waiting.

When he didn’t make a move, she touched lightly the fabric which was covering what was left of the insignia on his wrist. The scarf was tied around his hand. When her fingers traced the rugged cloth, she gazed him. The look on his face softer, his eyes inviting.

She snaked her fingers around the cloth and pulled gently his hand, around her. Taking the hint, he pulled her slowly into his embrace and she didn’t resist. She pressed her head in the nook between his jaw and shoulder and closed her eyes.

“I don’t understand.”, he said.

 

She pulled away, just enough to see the look on his face. His eyes were full of questions he didn’t speak aloud. He didn’t force her to speak. She let him be and walked away. She gazed him over her shoulder once. He stood exactly in the same place she had left him, his gaze locking with hers.

 

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

Monroe couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t sure would Charlie come to his room tonight. He was nervous. Was she interested in him? What if she wouldn’t come at all? What if she had decided to not try and form a more intimate relationship with him? What if it would also wreck their friendship? She would never be on his side again.

 

What if she would be with him just to get a revenge? That was farfetched but his anger lighted again. He pressed his hand into a fist. She wouldn’t do that. She wasn’t like that. He opened his hands and sighed. It had to be something else. She wasn’t manipulative. _He_ had been before.

 

He couldn’t just be, so he pulled his jeans on and took the long-sleeved shirt from the chair.

 

He wasn’t sure if he should go and find Charlie, or just wait if she would come to him.

Indecisive, he walked around his room. Finally, he heard something.

 

* * *

 

Charlie wasn’t sure if she was going to Bass’ room tonight. Everything was too bright, too hot, too messy. Her emotions all over the place. She didn’t want to get hurt. Why on Earth she felt this way for Monroe? She didn’t understand, and she didn’t want to. Because she knew why.

She knocked on his door. Then she went in and pulled the door closed behind her.

 

“You came.”, he said.

 

Charlie wondered why he was on his feet and dressed. The missing socks she didn’t count. She didn’t remember Monroe like this either. He seemed to be a little unsure. Nervous even. _Why?_

Could it be that he wasn’t sure of her? Monroe interested her even more now. She saw him look down for a moment and put his hand on his neck.

 

_Why the hell he was like this?_

 

“There are things which need to be solved.”

“Like what?” Monroe dropped the hand, then he seemed to be himself again. His eyes piercing, like he would know what she was thinking. She knew he was probably bracing himself, expecting some kind of bad news from her.

 

“Look, if you don’t want to talk...”

He dropped the act a bit and there it was again. She saw a glimpse of what he was really thinking. His eyes worried, then dark. “Okay. Let’s talk.”

Then he reminded her of the days he had power. His expression grim. He was standing confident. Looking taller. Suddenly she felt very alone.

 

_Maybe this was a bad call._

 

“You know we are friends.”

Monroe softened a little. “Yeah.”

“I don’t want to ruin that. But I still can’t help how I feel when I’m with you.”

She watched him. His eyes enlarging from surprise. He looked confused. “How… I did all those things. You say you forgive me but then this?”

He breathed deep in and walked to the window. Watching out into the night.

Charlie didn’t expect this. He acted like he didn’t want to know.

“I’m sorry, maybe it was a mistake.”

“Don’t.  You don’t get to say something like that and then tell me it was a mistake. Just don’t.”

“Fine.”, she said and walked to the door.

 

She could hear him move. Then silence. She didn’t know what she had expected. But not this. It was like he didn’t even care what she had just revealed. She felt hot tears burning behind her eye lids. She hated them. She hated how she felt. And most of all, she hated him. She turned and felt her anger rise.

 

“Listen Monroe. I didn’t want any of this. So, could you just for a moment try and not be a dick?”

Monroe snorted. “You don’t let me answer.”

Charlie felt suddenly ashamed, for jumping into conclusions.

“I don’t believe you.”

“What? I’m done with your stupid games. Clearly this was a mistake.”

She turned again for the door and left.

 

* * *

 

 

After the quarrel Bass started to drink (his stash of the old whiskey from the bar) and Sam joined him for a while. Then Sam went to sleep. Bass was left alone by the fire, in the dark night.

 

He didn’t feel good. Although he could understand if Charlie didn’t want him. He had been evil when he was the president of the Monroe militia. And done horrific things, just because he could. Now that he felt something different, maybe she didn’t. He took a swig from his bottle.

 

Maybe she wanted to be with the Jamie boy. Hell, he would suit her for her age. But otherwise it was a big no. He shook his head. He knew he was too old for her anyway. But he couldn’t find any fault on Charlie. He wouldn’t never do that to her.  She was gorgeous, intelligent, independent.

 

He still felt protective towards her, even though she would never like him the way he liked her. Another swig to sooth his nerves. He knew he would get angry if he didn’t do something about it. He decided to get wasted, at least that way he couldn’t think or hurt anyone.

 

His plans were disturbed by approaching footsteps. He wasn’t sure who it was, so he was suddenly very aware about the sounds of the night. Through his whiskey hazed brains he saw a form appear. It was a woman. His blood running faster in his veins when he realized it was Charlie.

His heartbeat a little stronger. He sighed.

 

“What are you doing here?”, she asked.

“I could ask the same from you.”, he said, slurring just a bit.

“You’ve been drinking. Why?”

“I don’t need your acceptance.”

“But you need a reason.”

“Well, fuck that. Who needs anything?”

 

Bass tried to drink again but Charlie took the bottle away from him. “Let’s have a drink to that.”

Charlie took a swig from his bottle. He watched her. Her lips on the top of his bottle, where his own had just been. It was weird but hot.   


“Now we are going to talk.”, the look on her face determined.

“About what?”

“Why you are acting this way?”

Monroe walked to the fire and sat on a bench. She followed and sat a bit further from him. Silence.

 

“I give up.”, he grunted.

“On what? I’m listening.”

Monroe watched the fire. “Do you ever think that something should be different but you’re afraid to change things if they go for the worse?”

“I’m really trying to understand you Monroe, but could you be more specific?”

He was silent again. Then he gazed at her.

“There are better men than me...”, then his voice trailed off.

“If you don’t talk, then I don’t know what is going on.”

“I know you like him.”

“Jamie? Well, he is nice and funny.”

 

Charlie had the weirdest feeling when she realized that Monroe took this somehow very seriously.

“Maybe I was stupid enough to hope you would like me.”

Charlie inhaled deep.

 

“I know, I know...”, he said, his voice descending into a whisper. “You hate me.”

“Hey, look at me. Do I look like I hate you?”, she asked.

He leaned into her direction, shifting enough to turn to her. His hand on the back rest, almost touching her. He gazed at her, then down.

 

“You should get some sleep.”, she said.

“No… I don’t need sleep. I need you.”

He gazed at her again. He was afraid that he would cry.

“You will never like me. Not after what I did.”

“I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. Just what I said earlier.”

“Why?”, he asked, his voice breaking a bit and giving up the turmoil inside him.

Charlie put her hand over his shoulder. He grabbed her hand, gently.

“You are different now.”, she said.

 

He couldn’t believe it. Yet he was insanely happy and sad the same time. Her other hand landed on his knee, when she was supporting herself when she came closer. Instinctively he leaned in, very slowly. “What do you mean by liking?”, she asked.

“Everything.”, slipped from him.

 

He only hoped she would get it. He stared at her and looked at her lips, then back to her eyes.

She wasn’t backing away but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure what she was thinking.

Just then, when he was about to give up, she moved in on closer. He felt again the rush of blood and his heart started to pound in his chest. He mimicked her and closed the distance slowly, with her. He closed his eyes and felt her lips brush his. It burned in his blood and he lost all coherent thoughts. He needed more. He opened his eyes. She looked at him.

“Oh God, Charlotte.”, he gasped.

She kissed him again. This time it lasted longer, although it was still tentative. He enjoyed every second of it.

 

* * *

 

 

Monroe woke up alone. He missed Charlie. At downstairs he ate something and went to work. He didn’t see Charlie. He had already cleaned and greased all the harnesses, bridles and saddles. So, there was only the task of leading the horses to the pasture and clean the stalls. He saw Charlie from the distance, walking in the corridor of the stables with Jamie. He watched her, not ogling Jamie this time. She looked back at him and smiled. Bass felt something he thought he had lost for good. He felt joy bubbling inside him and he smiled back at her.

 

He went in early for the lunch. Lizzie was there. 

Monroe had already got to know her a bit, so he smiled at her. “Good day.”

“Good day, Jim.”

“When do you have lunch time?”

“I was thinking, maybe you could end the work for the day and take Carla for a pick nick to the river?”

Monroe stared at her.

“I’m not stupid, I have eyes. I know there’s something going on with you two”, Lizzie said and grinned.

“If it’s okay with you.”  
“That’s settled then. I’ll put some food and drinks for you into a basket. You can clean yourself, change clothes. Jamie will prepare the horses.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s important to find some love in this God abandoned world.”

Monroe wasn’t sure if Charlie loved him. At least she was into him. It was enough for him now. He went to wash himself.

 

Monroe chose the blue jeans over his old pants. And the white t-shirt. He pulled his fingers through his wet curls and wondered, did he need to trim his beard. He decided not to do anything to about that. There was no time, if the basket and the horses would be ready soon.

 

He trotted the stairs down, grabbed the basket from a table in the hallway, shouting thanks for Lizzie and bolted out from the door.

 

Jamie was holding the other horse. Charlie was already mounted, waiting for him. Her hair was open, but her clothes were something he hadn’t seen before. He couldn’t see or hear anything else after he laid his eyes on her. She had a turquoise summer dress with spaghetti straps. He had never seen a dress on her before. It was a notable moment.

 

She was so beautiful, he didn’t remember the last time he’d have been so impressed by anyone. He had to remind himself that there were things to do and force himself to move.

 

* * *

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

They rode outside the farm. Charlie noticed the way Monroe had looked at her. When he glanced at her, his gaze locked with hers. And stayed there longer than it should. It felt exhilarating.

He looked very handsome in his white shirt and blue denim jeans. His dark curly hair wild, azure blue eyes. She felt like the world was brighter around him. The birds singing a little louder.

 

“How was your day?”, she asked, when he was silent.

“Short. How about yours?”

“Nice. I just hate dresses.”

 Monroe smirked. He turned the horse onto a trail. “It looks good on you.”

He went first so Charlie watched his back and kept a little distance so that the horses wouldn’t be too close to each other.

 

 His riding looked effortless and he gave the horse minimal signs, but it still did everything he asked. They arrived on the river. Bass removed the basked and the roll of blankets from the horse’s back. They took the saddles down and tethered the horses, letting them eat the lush grass.

 

 Charlie helped Bass to spread out one blanket. She sat on it and watched Monroe. Bass took the basket closer and kicked his boots off, stepping on the blanket. He sat next to her. Charlie was feeling awkward with the dress. She was also very much aware of how close Monroe was. Suddenly he laid himself down, with a deep sigh. He was resting, with his eyes closed.

 

 Charlie couldn’t resist picking up a hay and she inched towards him slowly, trying not to alert him. She leaned in and tickled his nose with the straw. He opened his eyes, wiped his nose and then realized something suspicious was going on. Charlie laughed aloud. He was getting up and she was trying to escape him, jumping into the grass with bare feet. She didn’t get far. A pair of strong hands grabbed her from her waist and pulled her close to his body.

 

“You’re going to pay for this.”

“You think so?”

“I will get my revenge, I promise you.”

 

 Charlie turned, still in his arms and he loosened his grip enough for her do that. She saw a twinkle his blue eyes, his joyful smile.

“You look different when you smile.”, she noticed aloud.

 His eyes changed instantly, and he smiled only slightly anymore. “You look different in dress.”

Charlie wasn’t sure what was he thinking. She didn’t know what to say. Monroe touched her shoulder strap, sliding the tip of his finger over it. “I know you hate it. Why did you put it on?”

 

 She shivered, not for the cold. He was so close, she could feel how warm he was. His scent. His eyes, searching for hers. Their gazes locked. “It was Lizzie, she gave it to me.”

“You know, you look gorgeous. So, there’s no reason to feel uncomfortable.” she felt her cheeks blush a bit and she looked away. “Coming from a man who gets to wear t-shirt and jeans.”

Monroe chuckled a bit. “You could always, I don’t know… take it off?”, his voice silky smooth.

 

 She felt how his fingers slid between the strap and her skin. She closed her eyes and felt her heart beat rise. “Go to swim and I’ll steal your clothes.”

When she opened her eyes, she saw him smiling again.

 

“Do you want to eat?”, he asked.

“I’m not hungry.”

 

 She walked to the beach to test the water. She heard him, approaching her. She knew approximately where he was even when she didn’t see him. He had that kind of presence which she would feel everywhere. In the crowd, in the rooms, halls. When they were alone in the nature.

 

 The river was inviting. She walked in the shallow water. She stopped and heard Monroe walk straight behind her. He stopped only when he was too close. She could feel the warmth emanating from him, on her back. A little cool breeze went past, and she shivered, feeling the warmth coming from him and the cool air at the same time.

 

He waited. She knew he gave her the chance to get away from him. Her feet were like stuck in the sand under water. She didn’t want to move. Her anticipation grew. He took a gentle grip of her arm to steady himself. It was warm, calloused from the hard work on the farm. From handling horses, guns, reins. She breathed heavier, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. He leaned in on her, his lips and scruff brushing over her bare shoulder. She felt intoxicated from his closeness, his gentleness with her. And what he made her feel. What was waking up inside her, because of him.

 

 She felt him lower himself, to her side, to reach the hem of her dress. He slid his fingertips over the side of her thigh, lifting the hem slowly higher. It was like leaving a hot imaginary trail. She breathed harder, her blood rushing in her veins. His lips again on her shoulder, when the hem was almost up. He reached slowly her neck with small kisses.

 

It was nothing like her quick fucks with some unknown guys she had found from the bars, in the dark alleys. Or the last one with the bartender. It seemed like ages ago.

She knew Monroe in some way, they had established a relationship. Their chemistry was tangible. Had always been, although she didn’t want to admit that.

 

Right now, Monroe knew what he was doing to her and took his time. Making her legs give up. She didn’t remember anyone doing this to her. It felt amazing. She was aroused even when he was barely touching her. Her body burning, yearning for his touch, his closeness. Her mind in a haze from her need. She wanted him more than she had wanted anyone.

 

“Are you hungry now?”, his voice husky, laced with lust.

“You could say that.”

She heard Monroe chuckle a bit and a smile crept on her face. 

 

He lifted the dress and she helped him to get it off. She knew it was ridiculous, but she had put the stupid old tube top under it. She had felt naked in the dress without bra. And the thing didn’t have straps. Monroe threw the dress towards the beach. He turned in front of her. She couldn’t tear her gaze off from his eyes. His gaze burning through her. He leaned in.

He kissed the corner of her mouth. She closed her eyes, tilting her head. Then he kissed her lips, agonizingly slow. She felt everything for him, her hands pulling him closer.

 

He broke the kiss and pulled away a bit. She was again very aware of her clothing or the lack of it. His gaze was compelling. The cool water running in their feet, making his jeans wet, dark area growing upwards on the fabric, over his feet. She could see that he wasn’t immune of what they were doing to each other. His pants seemed a little tight.

 

She remembered the day when the damn top had fell off. He grabbed the thing now, this time to take it off. She let him. Staring at him, his face and his hands, fingers when he was doing that. He lifted it off and she helped him, by lifting her arms. His eyes grew darker with lust.

 

He didn’t care about his jeans getting more soaked when he lowered himself, halfway into the water. Charlie couldn’t stop watching him. He slid his fingertips over her skin. Then to the side of her breast. She felt his tongue sweep over her nipple. Then his hot mouth taking it in.

Charlie gasped in sudden pleasure, which shot through her body, deep into her core. She clung to his shoulders like her life depended on that. She pulled her head back; her eyes closed and couldn’t stop herself from falling into the sea of pleasure and a moan escaped her lips.

 

Monroe wanted her like crazy. Yet he was constantly amazed by her reaction to him. She must have wanted him too. He had had no idea about that. His proof came in the form of how she reacted to his advances. He knew he couldn’t hold himself for long after he heard her moan. He needed to have her. Maybe not now or in this place. But eventually. He needed to know that she was ready. And he was going to make sure of it. He wanted her to remember him, if she didn’t love him. He wanted to give her something she had never had from another guy. She would remember him.

 

If this was just a fling for her. He would let her be afterwards, if she would want that. It would hurt, but the times of craziness was over. And he could get women if she didn’t want him. He just didn’t feel this for them. It was only for her. He still couldn’t believe Charlie allowed him to touch her and do all kinds of things to her, what he had only imagined in his wildest dreams.

 

He moved to the other breast. Her skin, warm, soft, smooth as silk. Her need for him evident, her nipples hard as little rocks when he caressed them. Her moans lighting his need for her, making his wet jeans tight, when his body reacted to her. When he finally stood up, he saw her hair flowing like she was a goddess of the river, coming to take him away into the depths of the water, by luring him in with her beauty.

 

Charlie could finally see and think, when he got up. She took the step to close the distance and put her arms around his warm neck and kissed him. She wanted him so bad, her kiss was wet, demanding and lustful. He had no problem reaching harmony with her movements and the kiss grew even more passionate.

 

“Are you sure? You don’t have to...”

“I want you now.”, she said and pulled her panties off. Then she was completely naked.

 

She was happy to see him fighting with himself. His eyes dark for lust, the bulge evident his wet jeans. She knew she could have her way with him. She pulled the shirt over his head and he helped her. She proceeded to his belt and he didn’t do anything to stop her. He just watched her.

 

“If you don’t want to, I’ll find someone.”

She watched anger flash in his eyes. He pulled her against himself, lifted her up like she weighted nothing and kissed her possessively. She wanted him even more. She felt his tongue in her mouth, sliding against hers and it turned her on even more.

 

“You drive me fucking crazy.”, he said  and carried her to the blanket.

He didn’t give her what she wanted so she tried to get up. He pulled her gently back and kissed her. He slid his hand between her legs and she opened them for him. She was already wet.  Finding the right spot, he rubbed her and kissed her mouth. She moaned and writhed in the pleasure he was causing her that he had a hard time keeping himself in control.

Charlie felt like he tormented her and himself, when he didn’t give her what she wanted. Instead, he wanted her to feel good apparently. She didn’t mind. She trusted him with her life. His touch causing her feel so much she couldn’t take it. Then, finally, she came, so hard that she didn’t know if she had ever felt anything like that. She didn’t care how she looked or the moans and the final scream she made.

 

Charlie lied down, next to him, breathing hard. Sweaty and satisfied. Monroe let her have some rest. She took the other blanket and covered herself with it. She started to notice that something was off. She looked at Monroe. He was still lying there, in his soaked jeans. She couldn’t read the look on his face. She tried to reach for him, but he rolled over and up. She saw the muscles rippling on his back, under his skin, when he sat down, facing away from her.

 

She remembered what she had said him. “I’m sorry.”

“Why did you had to say that?”

Charlie was hesitating. “I wanted to hurt you. Because… I don’t want to feel anything.”

“Well, you got what you wanted.”, he said and got up.

Charlie knew she couldn’t go after him if he decided to leave now. Not in a blanket. She walked in front of him, cutting his drive line where he was about to pass her.

“To hell with it.”, he said.

“Wait. I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry. Why won’t you listen?”

The look on his face dark with anger. Still she wasn’t afraid of him.

“What more I have to do?”, she asked.

“I’ve always known it won’t work anyway so… why bother.”

 

He walked away from her. She watched him strutting to the horses, picking up his horse’s tether line and easily mounting the beast’s bare back. Wearing only blue denim jeans, which were dark from the moist.

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you the real fucking reason!”, she yelled after him.

Monroe jumped down. He tied the line again and smirked.

“I don’t want to feel this shit. I don’t want any of it. I don’t want to have feelings for you.”, she said and stormed away in her blanket. Monroe could catch up to her easily.

“What did you say?”, he asked.

“You heard me.”

 

He kissed her. She dropped her blanket when she pulled him closer, around his neck. His skin felt hot against her chest. She reached for his jeans, trying to release the button. He helped her. She opened his zipper. He had to sit down to pull the jeans off, they were soaked and tight on his feet. She helped him. “It’s the first time I have to pull a guy’s jeans off.”, she laughed. Monroe smiled.

 

Their smiles faded when he was naked too. She came on to him. Another hot kiss. She let him turn her over. He leaned over her. She was at first very aware of herself and a bit nervous. A long kiss made her relax. And his eyes, the look on his face. She knew he cared about her. His tender touch over her cheek, her body. His head sinking over her breasts as he tasted them again.

She moaned, and she was so ready for him, she felt she was going to melt if he didn’t stop.

“I want it now.”, she whispered.

He slid his fingers between her legs and made her moan again. She was blinded by the pleasure.

“Oh God...”

“You are so beautiful.”, his voice, thick with lust.

She was almost crying for the need to have him. Like there was this empty, hollow place inside her and he was the only one who could do something about it.

 

“I only want you.”, she admitted.

 

He placed himself between her thighs and slid the head of his cock over her wet folds. She moaned again, wanting him so bad. He slid in slowly, easily, because she was so wet. They both gasped for the contact. He was hard, filling her.

She moaned when he started to move. He was so close to coming that he heard his own, low moans, with her lighter ones.

He couldn’t control himself for long. He picked up the pace and heard her moans and sighs getting more frequent and louder. As she was going to come again. He felt her insides, hot, wet and silky, starting to press his cock when she was almost there.

She came, screaming, arching her back and her insides were milking him rhythmically. He lost it. He couldn’t see or hear anything for a moment. Only her and the hot, massive sea of pleasure and the way his body was pulsating in his orgasm, spilling his seed inside deep inside her.

 

He lied over her for a while, resting his head next to hers. She held him in her embrace. They shared a kiss, which was now just a short one. He moved to the side of her and she went into his lap, taking a blanket from the nearby. He helped her put it on them.

He held her in his arms. And felt his love for her, more than ever.

 

* * *

 

 

In the morning Monroe woke up from his bed. Charlie was still asleep. Next to him. The rays of the morning sun playing with the floating dust speckles in the room and in her hair. Her hair was shining like a gold, spreading over the pillow. He loved the sight. He let her sleep, getting up as slow as he could. It was hard since she had sprawled all over the bed. He covered her carefully with blanket.

Bass was only wearing men’s briefs he had got from Lizzie not long ago. He slipped into his jeans and shirt. Then he grabbed his jacket and his boots and opened the door, closing it slowly. He put the rest of his clothes on in the hallway and went out.

 

Taking a leak outside the house and behind the corner, he breathed in the humid and cool morning air. Everything looked so beautiful to him. Brighter and more colorful. The landscape of country side. Every plant, tree. The horses in the pasture, eating grass. He had the weirdest feeling. Because he felt happy after a long time. He washed his hands by the water pump and went inside for breakfast.

 

Monroe was finished and leaving to the stables when Charlie came down the stairs.

“Morning.”, he said, unusually glad.

“I didn’t know you were a morning person.”, she said, still sleepy.

“Got to take care of the horses. See you later.”

“Yeah.”

 

She greeted Lizzie who was already cooking in the kitchen.

“Jimmy seemed delighted. Has something happened?”

“I guess we are an item.”

“I’m so happy for you.”

 

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

Something changed. The view distorted, like in a house of mirrors. The world was torn apart completely in front of their eyes, with a loud static noise, which hurt their ears. Suddenly they were on the road. It was night. A swarm of little gleaming green flies flew away from them, until it was dark again.

“What the fuck was that?”, Monroe asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe it was the Nano, leaving us.”

 

Monroe checked the carriage, which was near them. Charlie followed him. The horses looked good. He noticed he had his gear and Charlie had hers, inside the carriage.

 

“If this was a dream… nothing happened in real life.”, Monroe thought aloud.

“When did the Nano come?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe after I saved you.”

 

Monroe noticed Charlie’s gaze following him, when he moved restlessly around. He walked to her. “What do you remember?”  
Her quietness made him nervous. “Anything?”

A long silence.

“We need to take care of the horses and set up a camp.”, Charlie said finally.

Monroe lit the lanterns of the carriage with the fire steel he had in his bag.

 

Monroe was happy to do something physical. It alleviated his anxiety. They drove into a promising location. It seemed to be a good place for a camp. Monroe and Charlie took both a horse and started to remove the harnesses from them. The work went faster when they both were at it.

 

“We don’t even know where the fuck we are.”, Charlie said.

“I’m guessing not far from Pottsboro.”, Monroe wondered.

Charlie froze, then continued her work. “We can’t be that close, otherwise they would have found us already.”

“The dead don’t speak.”

 

Charlie and Monroe got the horses ready. Leaving the halters on.

“They need a drink.”, Monroe said.

“I’ll come with you.”

They took the lanterns with them, to see something in the dark night and walked the horses to the nearby river. Monroe watched the horses drink eagerly. He was still unsure about Charlie.

 

They tethered the horses to the nearby trees. Monroe watched them eat the grass. Charlie was already gone and took her bed roll and her stuff out from the carriage. Monroe left his lantern to the camp to be and went to get his gear. Charlie went to gather something to burn and Monroe followed her. She found some dry plants and Monroe carried some tree branches he found, to the camp. They managed to set up a fire.

 

Charlie took her bed roll and to Monroe’s relief, she put it next to his. At least something was the same as it was before.

 

Monroe sat on his bed roll and Charlie had already lied down on hers. He looked at her, then gazed the fire. Charlie propped herself up with her arm. Resting on her side.

She was in front of him, closer to the fire. He could see her there, yet she could have been a million miles away.

Monroe was getting anxious. “Nothing comes into mind?”

Charlie rolled over to see him. He couldn’t read the look on her face. She got up in a sitting position. Bass moved on her bed roll and sat next to her. He was getting desperate.

 

_If she didn’t remember…_

 

“Anything?”, he asked.

Charlie sighed.

He got up and walked to the other side of the fire. “I remember everything. Goddammit, I’ve never been so happy in my life.”, he said, looking at the stars in the sky.

Charlie was still.

 

Then it dawned to him like a lightning from the sky. Maybe she didn’t want to remember. This was real life and she hated him. For all the things he had done and caused. Her father and her brother were dead. He had kept her mother as a prisoner. Bass was petrified. He let out a deep sigh. “That dream… it was real to me. I remember everything.”

 

He knew he loved her. But when she didn’t answer, it became clear to him what she thought of him. He couldn’t help it, but he felt so alone and rejected that it was crushing him. A metallic coldness landing into his guts. He was alone. The sorrow of losing everything he had thought they had. He felt hot tears trying to get out and it didn’t help how much he tried not to feel that way.

 

“Talk to me. Anything?”

“This is the turning point. We can choose what happens next.”

 

Monroe left out a bitter laugh, his eyes watering. “Oh, we can fucking choose now? Maybe you can, but my time of choosing is over.”

 

He stormed to the carriage, opened the door and climbed in and tried to find the bottles in the dark. When he didn’t see a damn thing, he slammed the door so hard it flew open, against it hinges and back, then it stuck against the door frame. He slumped on the floor in the pitch-black carriage and cried.

 

_She didn’t want him._

 

He couldn’t think about anything else. The pain of losing everything they had in the Nano world became overbearingly painful. It was too much for him to take. He searched for the bottles again in the dark and this time he felt something, a shape of round, cool glass under his fingertips. He had found something to numb the pain.

 

* * *

 

 

Charlie didn’t want to remember. It would have complicated things. Things would have eventually hurt her, and it would be very painful if they didn’t get along. She didn’t need any more misery in her life than she already had. She needed to remember what had happened to her father, to her brother. In the hands of the Monroe militia. And the ex-leader was now apparently in the carriage. She wondered what took him so long. And went after him, taking a lantern.

 

She had a hard time to open the carriage door. It seemed to be stuck. She pulled hard, using her weight against it. Finally, it opened, and she almost tripped over. She took the lantern and lit the scene. Inside Monroe was shielding his eyes from the light, with his arm. He had an open whiskey bottle in his hand. She was tempted to have some too. “You still got that shit?”

 

When he lowered the arm and she could see his face, she realized he had been crying. His eyes reddish and some moist in his eye lashes. He seemed to be hurt. A wild look in his dark blue eyes. Charlie felt bad for him.

“What do you care?”, he said and took a swig, the liquid splashing in the bottle before some of it went into his mouth.

 

Charlie jumped into the carriage, into the tight space next to Monroe and helped herself, locating Monroe’s stash easily. Because the box of booze was open. She took some random bottle and opened it. She tasted some. It was some good old whiskey.

 

“Help yourself.”, Monroe said and jumped down with his bottle.

“Where are you going?”

“Somewhere.”

Charlie jumped down and followed him. When he stopped abruptly, she almost ran into him.

“In this state of mind where I am right now, I recommend you stay the hell away from me.”, he warned and left her alone at the carriage.

Charlie went still after him.

 

* * *

 

 

Monroe stood in front of her in the camp. “You didn’t hear me the first time?”

Charlie knew he was hurt and now angry. “I’m not good at taking commands.”

“Get away from me. I’m not sure what’ll do.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“Maybe you should be.”

“Where would I go?”

Monroe took his bed roll, put it down further away from hers and sat by the fire with his bottle.

“Do we have anything to eat?”, she asked.

When he didn’t answer, she walked in front of him. “Monroe?”

“Look into my bag.”, he finally said, not raising his gaze from the fire.

She went through his stuff and found dried meat and some weird canned food. It seemed old.

“What is this crap? she asked and threw one of the cans on the ground in front of him.

“Who cares.”, Monroe said and took a swig from his bottle.

 

Charlie remember the canned food smelling and looking like crap, so she chewed some of the deer jerky. She offered some to Monroe, but he put it into his pocket.

 

He got up suddenly. “If you don’t leave, then I will.”, he said and walked into the darkness with his whiskey bottle.

 

“Son of a bitch.”, Charlie said and took a lantern. Monroe was dangerous, to himself and the others. And they might face some unfriendly clan members if they wandered far from the camp, in an unknown territory. He just didn’t seem to give a fuck anymore.

 

Again, she ran after him. She didn’t have to go far. Monroe was sitting on the ground in the darkness. She almost tripped over him. “What is wrong with you, Monroe? Are you out of your fucking mind? Trying to get yourself killed?”

 

“It would be better than this.”, he said.

“Come into the camp.”

“You know, I have lost them all.”, he said.

“Who?”

“My family, everyone I cared about. My friends. I’ve got nothing left.”

“Come on, Monroe.”

 

Finally, he obeyed her. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had been drinking all the time she was trying to persuade him to come to the camp.

 

* * *

 

 

Monroe drank so much he couldn’t stay on his feet. She dragged him into his bed roll.

“Sleep now.”

“I love you.”, he said and then he was out.

 

* * *

 

 

Monroe woke up. He saw daylight through his eye lids and his head was pounding. “God damn.”

He turned to his side, feeling the urge to take a leak and puke the same time. When he opened his eyes, the light feeling like it was searing his eyes and the insides of his skull. Half empty whiskey bottle near him. Closing his eyes from the painful light, he put his arm over his face.

 

He heard footsteps coming closer. He didn’t care to check if it was some clan member or whoever the fuck had wandered into their camp. At least all his worries would be gone if he died right now. And the pain of being rejected and in love alone.

 

“You’re up finally.”

It was Charlie. He could hear the displeasure in her voice. He got some weird satisfaction out of it, that he could still evoke at least some emotion in her. Even when it was irritation.

“We have to get on the road.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”. Monroe said.

“What about Miles and the Patriots?”

“Not my problem.”

“So, you are just going to let everything to go south?”

“Damn right I am.”

 

He had his eyes still closed. He heard her coming closer. Then he felt icy cold water running over his head and his arm. “What the fuck was that?”

“You need to get up.”

 

Monroe rose fast, anger filling his mind, like an old friend. He stood in front of Charlie, too close, too angry, water still dripping from his hair, over his face and arm. She didn’t back away but watched him with her blue eyes. His emotions conflicting inside him. His rage and his affection for her fighting, which one would win.

 

He felt his anger fading, leaving an aching emptiness behind. Feeling his hangover, dull headache and tiredness, he sighed. There was a strand of hair over her face. He reached for the lock of hair and moved it behind her ear. “You don’t want to remember.”

 

He watched her, changing her weight on another leg, the look on her face uneasy. He let her be, retreating to his bed roll which was now a bit wet.

He took the dried meat from his pocket and ate all of it.

 

“Too bad I want to. I can’t forget.”, he said and walked into the bushes. He took care of his business and went to the river. He took his clothes off and walked into the cool water. The water was clear, so he also drank it while he was deeper. He dived in. And enjoyed how good it felt, his body waking up from the coldness. When he came back up, he shook his head. And saw someone in his side view. It was Charlie.

 

He couldn’t take his eyes off on her. What on Earth was she doing?

He watched her undress and then she walked into the water. She had nothing on.

Charlie waded deeper and dived as well. He waited for her to emerge. She got up.

 

“What are you doing?”, he asked, feeling his body already reacting to seeing her naked.

Her round, full breasts, her swaying hips. She was all natural, and he liked that.

 

“Just taking a swim.”

“With nothing on?”

“You have seen everything already.”

 

He couldn’t argue with that. It didn’t help with his hard-on. When he passed her, going for the beach, she probably had a glimpse of his erection by the looks of it. He took his clothes and went back to the camp. Not looking back.

 

She came back after a while. Monroe was sitting naked, by the fire. His clothes drying on some make shift rack, near the warmth of the fire.

 

Charlie sat next to him. Too close. He felt everything for her. And looked her, curious of what she was going to do. She leaned in on him. He couldn’t help how it made him feel. When their gazes locked, she kissed him. He couldn’t stop kissing her back.

He cupped her breast and felt her nipple harden against the palm of his hand.

 

Charlie couldn’t help herself. She was trying so hard not to feel anything for Monroe. But she did feel something for him. And she needed him. And wanted him. His caresses just making it harder to dismiss how much she felt for him.

 

She straddled him. Feeling his strong thighs under her own. His hands on her back, sliding on her skin, until they reached her behind. Another kiss, this time it was passionate. She could feel his hard-on against herself.

 

“If it never happened… I need to know how it feels.”, she said.

Monroe chuckled. “You will find out soon.”

 

He caressed her breasts, just like she remembered. It felt amazing. She moaned when his mouth surrounded her nipple. Feeling it deep inside her core, something melting and turning into liquid. Then another. She caressed the side of his face, stroke his curly hair. When he looked up, she kissed him.

 

He went down on his back after a series of passionate kisses. She placed herself over his cock and let it slide against her wet folds. She watched him panting, his eyes dark for lust. Feeling her own need rise with his. She moaned slightly.

 

“Oh God, Charlotte.”, he said and pulled her closer. She laughed. Her laughter died when their gazes locked, and he reached her for another kiss, which  she helped happen, leaning into him. She helped him inside her and started to move. She rode him at first, then leaned over him and kissed him again. Then she felt him, thrusting into her. She enjoyed the feeling, him filling her with strong pleasure, making her getting closer to climax. Her eyes closed, and she moaned. His hands over her back.

 

He wanted to turn, and she assisted him. She was under him and he slid his fingers between her legs. “Remember this?”, he asked, his voice husky.

 

Charlie closed her eyes and let the sudden pleasure fill her. Until he let himself slide inside her. She arched her back to lift herself, giving him better access when he moved inside her. He picked up the pace, his fingers back on her clit. She felt she was coming. And closed her eyes, feeling of ultimate pleasure, then her body went rigid and she came. For a moment nothing but a sea of pleasure she didn’t remember ever feeling so hard and so complete. The waves hitting over her, which seemed like small eternity.

He came soon after her, resting over her, letting his weight partly on her, partly on his arms.

 

“I didn’t want to remember. Because I didn’t want to feel anything.”, Charlie whispered, his ear close to her mouth.

“And here you are.”

“I couldn’t help myself.”

Monroe rolled over, next to her. “What now?”, he asked.

“I think I need to try the other positions as well.”

Monroe laughed. “That’s a start.”

 

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IRL my life is full of a lot of things, draining my energy, so I'm sorry that my writing takes time.

* * *

 

The closer they were to Willoughby, the more serious the look on Monroe’s face grew. Charlie was also in her thoughts.

Monroe stopped the carriage, into a shaded part of some road. “It’s better if you go alone and bring Miles by the river.”

“Okay. It might take some time.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

 

* * *

 

Charlie went to Miles. They greeted, and he was happy to see her.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. But I’ve got something to show you.”

“What? Where? You just came back. Your Mother is missing you.”

“She can wait. Please come, it’s important.”

 

“Promise me you won’t get mad.”, she said.

“Why, of course.”, he said.

 

When he got to the secluded beach down by the river, near the old construction, he stopped. Miles looked at the man standing there. And then Charlie. Then back to the man, who was the infamous Sebastian Monroe.

 

* * *

 

 

Miles hadn’t seen Monroe in a long time. Was it four months ago? The last time he had seen him, he had fought with him and then set him free. Back then he had been still wearing the Militia leader suit. With suntanned skin, wild curls and a scruff, Monroe looked more like a survivor of the blackout than any Militia member.

 

“What did you do to her?”, he said, menace in his voice and walked in front of him.

Monroe took a step back, but then he stopped. “Nothing.”

“I know you, Monroe.”

“I’d never hurt her.”,

“I wouldn’t let him.”, Charlie said, somewhere close but Miles didn’t look at her.

“I saved her life.”

 

Miles watched Bass. He knew him thoroughly. Monroe was serious, very serious. But there was something new in his eyes. Determination. He wasn’t going to back up on this. He was speaking the truth.

Miles sighed. “Then what the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to help you with the Patriots. You need my help.”

Monroe pointed at his injured hand.

“Go away, Bass.”, Miles said.

 

_The bastard was still right, though._

 

“You won’t survive five minutes without me, you handicapped fool.”, Monroe said.

“Fine. We’ll see what we are going to do.”

“No. Rachel is not going to have a say in this. I’ll rent my own place.”

“Oh. Good for you.”

 

Charlie knew why. Her Mother hated Monroe and they would never have privacy if he would live in Matheson farm back yard. In case they would continue seeing each other.

 

* * *

 

 

Monroe managed to find a little house for rent, just down the street where Miles and Rachel lived. It was only a few houses away from the Matheson’s. It was a bit dusty but furnished. He cleaned the place, then went for a shower in the back yard. The water was cold, but the self-made shower did what it was supposed to do.

He washed his briefs and his t-shirt, then left them to dry on the clothesline outside. He walked in wearing only a towel, carrying his black pants, his shirt and the boots inside.

 

In the bedroom he opened his bag. There was the white t-shirt and the blue jeans he had bought. He put them on. There was someone on the door, knocking. He wasn’t sure who it was. Maybe Miles, checking on him. Or Rachel, trying to make him leave. Perhaps Charlie, wanting something from him, which he was happy to give. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey from his bag, he walked to the door with bare feet and opened it.

 

Miles watched him, squinting his eyes. “There’s something fishy about this and I’m going to find out what. In the meantime, get your boots.”

“Why?”

“You’re coming to eat.”

“What the hell…”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Charlie was already eating the late dinner Rachel had made for them when Monroe walked in. His boots thumping on the floor, then stopping to the doorway.

“Come in, Monroe.”

She heard the thumping again, it stopped when he was close to her. He took a seat next to her.

Charlie glanced at him, like she wouldn’t care. And put some food in her mouth.

Miles got in and took some food as well. Rachel sat down, filling her plate.

 

Monroe waited until they were ready. He was the last to take his plate. He filled it with food, from the pans and kettles which were waiting on the table. Then he started to eat.

Charlie was done before him, so she took a good position on her chair and just watched him eating the rest, sipping her delicious, cold lemonade.

 

“So, you saved Charlie’s life?”, Rachel asked.

“Yeah. They drugged her. I killed them all and I took care of her.”, Monroe said.

“Thank you.”, Rachel said.

“I would have done it anyway, without trying to get back here with Miles...”

“But now you’re here.”

“Indeed.”

 

“Mom, I know you want to, but don’t give his location to the Patriots.”, Charlie said.

“What...”

“I know how you think. You are still trying to get revenge. Stop it, Mom. Without him I wouldn’t be here.”

She could see from her face that she wasn’t pleased.

“If you report his whereabouts, you won’t ever see me again.”, Charlie warned.

Charlie was serious. Miles and Bass just watched them two. Rachel looked a bit shaken.

“Is this true, Rachel?”, Miles said.

“I...”

“The guy saved your daughter’s life. You don’t get to do that to him. No matter how bad he has been in the past.”

 

Charlie was aware of Monroe’s silence and how tense he was. She was relieved that he remained silent. It would have only aggravated Rachel more. That was the last thing he, or they, needed. She also knew about the bad blood between him and her Mom. She wanted to ease him somehow. Not sure how, when they sat in the Matheson kitchen, at the table.

 

Miles was concentrating to Rachel; they were still having a conversation about Monroe and what to do with him. Charlie knew they wouldn’t accept her being close with Monroe. She had to do something anyway.

She felt a bit nervous, trying to conceal it. Slowly she reached for him, her hand landing on his thigh under the table. It was strong, muscular and warm. He was still. But then he lowered his hand and touched her fingers with his own, keeping his eyes on Rachel and Miles. She felt exhilarated for the contact. He took her hand in his own. It was slightly bigger than hers. Warm, calloused. She loved the feeling which went through her body, just by a simple touch.

 

Charlie felt absurd. They were secretly holding hands while Miles and Rachel were having a family feud over Monroe’s destiny. She heard him sigh and then felt his tenseness ease a bit.

“Want a beer?”, she asked.

“Why not.”

Charlie stood up and took two bottles from the cabinet. She opened them. In the meantime, Monroe disappeared into the living room.

 

When she got after him, Monroe had slumped into the armchair near the log-fire. Charlie chose the other chair. He was gazing the fire. Charlie gave the other bottle one to him. Their fingers touched again. She felt it like a jolt in her system.

“Thanks.”, he said, giving her a rare smile.  
She knew it was only meant for her, so it made it even more meaningful.

 

* * *

 

 

Miles found them, sitting in their own armchairs, staring into the fire, sipping beer. They seemed to have an easy-going relationship. Miles didn’t know what had happened on the trip, but to him they looked like they were now friends, enjoying the beer and warmth of the fire in the evening.

 

Bass even looked different. He had let his beard grow, a messy scruff over his face. Blue jeans, white t-shirt, dark jacket thrown over the chair. Boots. Miles wondered what had caused the change in him. Miles could also see that he was in a good shape.

 

“I was wondering where my beer disappeared.”

“Didn’t want to listen to you bickering all night.”, Bass grinned.

“What have you decided?”, Charlie asked.

Miles sat on the sofa. “Your Mother is going to stay quiet.”

“Good.”

 

* * *

 

 

Monroe went home, alone. He kicked his boots off and went straight to the bedroom. He took off the jacket and lied down on the bed. The silence was eerie. He was used to hear Charlie’s breathing. Feeling her presence. And the sounds from the nature and wild animals, which never ceased outside.

 

He grabbed the blanket and put it on, resting his head on the pillow. The night was quite dark, he couldn’t see much. He wasn’t sure if Charlie would sneak to his place tonight. So, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. If she would come, he would wake up. And if she didn’t, then he would get some shut eye. Either way, it was good.

 

* * *

 

Charlie was alone with Rachel. “So, there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“I was drugged by a gang. Monroe saved my life. He took me to safety, kept me warm and dry for two days. He held my hair when I puked my guts out. Who does that?”

Rachel opened her mouth.

“Oh no you’re not going to do that. You don’t have the right. He has taken more care of me than you since you left me and Danny when we were kids.”

Rachel’s face turned red and she opened her mouth like a fish on a dry land.

 

Charlie stormed out and went to her room. Miles came out from behind the corner. “If I were you, I’d let her be.” Rachel didn’t say anything. She looked shocked. Miles didn’t feel any pity for her.

  

* * *

 

 

Charlie waited. Rachel and Miles seemed to be up for ages. She fell asleep in the darkness of her room, tired of waiting.

Suddenly she was awake. It was still dark. She felt relieved. Maybe she still had time to sneak out and see Monroe. She took her jacket and boots and tiptoed out of her room. She stopped and listened carefully. Then she proceeded. The house was silent. She checked the living room and the kitchen. The fire that once burned there during the day, now it was only a glowing pile of charcoal. The kitchen dark and uninviting. There was nobody there.

 

She went out and closed the door. In the porch she dressed up, sat down on the stairs and pulled her boots on. She walked down the street and stopped over Monroe’s little rental house. She knocked the door, but nothing happened. She got around the house and knocked on the back door. Then she waited. The door opened. She went in.

 

Monroe was sleepy, but he let her in. He had slept with his clothes on. His t-shirt wrinkled.

“Took your time.”, he said and shambled for the kitchen.

“Rachel and Miles were up late. I fell asleep waiting.”

Bass took the water canister and poured some in the bowl and to his glass. He washed his face and drank. “It’s okay, I fell asleep too.”

 

Charlie walked to him and he looked at her, with a slight smile and curious eyes. From a mutual agreement, they hugged. He was happy to see her and relieved that she came. He kissed her, keeping it soft and sweet. “I could get used to this.”, he said.

Charlie smiled.

 

Once they had drank, as in mutual agreement, they went into Monroe’s dark bedroom. They took their own sides but, in the middle, Monroe let her snuggle close to him and he put his arm over her.

Charlie closed her eyes, feeling safe and sound, him behind her. So close and familiar. His closeness soothing yet exciting.

“I could really get used to this.”, she said.  
She felt Bass holding her a little tighter and planting a kiss on her neck.

 

* * *

 

Bass woke up. It was still dark. He realized he wasn’t alone. Charlie was sound asleep next to him. He wondered what the hell woke him up. He got up and listened to the night. Then he looked at the form of sleeping Charlie. The sight soothed his nerves. Maybe it was a bad dream that had woken him up. He slipped back into the bed, between the blanket and the sheet. He shivered for the warmth, as the air in the room was already cool.

 

He lied on his back, thinking. This was fucking dangerous. If they would sleep too long, Rachel and Miles would notice that Charlie was gone. Then they would start to look for her. Yet, if they told them about their relationship, they would probably kill him or banish him for good.

 

He was too old and the things he had done… He could never take it back. His hands would always be in blood of his victims. And he would have to live with it for the rest of his life. Charlie deserved someone better, someone younger. He felt something in his chest. It tightened with pain when he thought about losing Charlie. He was torn in two directions. Then he decided.

 

* * *

 

Monroe rode his horse to the quiet road. It was still dark. He needed to get away from here. He needed to give Charlie a better life. It hurt like hell to leave her, but he had to do this. For her.

 

When he was nearing the next cross section, he saw something. He stopped the horse and went through the saddle’s pockets. Where the fuck were the binoculars when you needed them? Finally, he found them. He picked them up and adjusted the image. There was some kind of an army coming at Willoughby, they had some torches up. Monroe saw men in khaki. “Damn it!”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story after a "long dry season" due massive setbacks in real life. Thank you for reading! If you like, leave a kudos.


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